Reunions and Second Guesses

No photos today :( though I want to upload some more soon...I've been avoiding the blog since it's been so long that I've written and I don't know if I thought I'd be coming back to a disaster area or something, but that's what I was feeling like.  "Oh no, I'm afraid to look--what if it's really messy?"

Silly...

Anyway, an organization I used to work for (5+ years) is hosting a national reunion about an hour away from me, with approx. 9,000 of their staff coming for two weeks.  I'm really torn as to whether or not to go--would anyone still be there that I know?  If so, would those people even want to see me/have anything to say to me after all this time?  Would there be any former staffers there that I'd know? (All the "alumni," or former staff, are invited to attend as well.)

This is my equivalent to a high school reunion, though it wasn't as long ago as high school (and even though my high school class has never had a reunion so far as I know--not a 5 or 10, and I doubt they'll do a 15...)

It brings up lots of memories, good and bad, and lots of emotions--two former boyfriends are still on staff with the organization, and some of us staffers went through the fire together--which has made the summer so far a little like a roller-coaster ride.  I hung out with a dear friend who's still on staff, and in talking through things and thinking through whether or not to attend, I've going through a "greatest hits" of my time on staff (though some of the memories are quite painful).

Due to the nature of the job, we staffers worked long and odd hours, worked closely in teams, and got really close to one another as friends and confidantes. It wasn't just another 9-5 job where you sort of know your co-workers and hang out awkwardly after work because you feel like you have to.  You forge strong bonds with your teammates and get pretty deep about your lives, hopes, dreams, loves.  It was a very intense, and emotionally/mentally demanding career path, sometimes in pretty damaging ways, sometimes in great ways.

I'm on the fence about diving into the intensity of that world again, even if it's just for a day or two.